


Of Planets & Rovers

by remreader



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 06:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17782025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remreader/pseuds/remreader
Summary: An argument over Pluto has some unexpected side effects.





	Of Planets & Rovers

**Author's Note:**

> All my emotions about Opportunity got mashed together with a crack-y idea about the Avengers (but mostly Steve & Tony) arguing over Pluto and this happened...

It all started (or rather, started again) when NASA released the photos of the New Horizons probe’s flyby of Pluto. Pluto was a notorious sore subject for Steve - he'd been a kid when the PLANET was first discovered and it had been big, exciting news for a kid growing up in the 1930s, a whole new planet! And then amongst everything else that had changed when he woke up in the future, even the _solar system_ was different? Nope. Unacceptable. The universe had taken enough from Steve Rogers, they weren't going to take Pluto too. He marched into the coffee/lounge area of Avengers Tower where Tony was currently taking a coffee break, glossy stack of photos in hand. He slammed them down on the table in front of Tony, causing the engineer to react first with alarm and then bemusement as he realized what this particular uproar was about.

“Did, did you seriously go print those out just so you could dramatically slam them on the table? JARVIS literally just showed us these in his daily news update.”

“Pluto. Has. A. Heart. It literally has a HEART and you're still going to tell me it shouldn't be a planet?”

“Well the last time I checked, having geological features that resemble an emoticon isn't one of the criteria for planethood, so I'm gonna go with yes?”

“Ooh, we're doing this again? Quick, get the popcorn, Clint!” Natasha strolled into the room and flopped herself onto the couch, Clint trailing in behind her.

Ignoring the commentary, Tony continued, “You know, I think I've figured out why Pluto means so much to you.”

Normally Steve would've recognized the mischievous glint in Tony's eyes when he said this, but the Pluto debate had a tendency to drive him to complete distraction. “Really?” he asked, hopefully.

“Sure. I mean, it's essentially a ball of ice. I can see how you'd relate. Shared life experiences and all that, right, Capsicle?”

Steve smacked his forehead, exasperated. “I give up.”

“Oh cool, that means I win, right? No take-backs, Rogers. Pluto, you're officially a dwarf planet. Science reigns again.”

“I _meant_ I give up on trying to convince you to take this seriously.”

Natasha yawned from her position on the couch. “Well, we've officially reached the boring part of the conversation. Thought they'd go on for a bit longer first, it's been ages since we've had a good Pluto fight. They're just going to glare at each for a while now, watch.” She sighed, “predictable as always.”

“Nah, I've got a better idea.” Clint raised his voice and continued, “So, Steve's obviously Pluto. Your turn, Tony.”

“My turn for what?”

“You know, if you were a planet, which one would you be?”

“Is that a real game?” Steve asked, puzzled.

“It's definitely not,” Tony scoffed. “But fine, I'll bite. Which planet am I?”

“WAIT - if you accept the premise of the game that means you admit that Pluto IS a planet!” Steve grinned triumphantly, “I win, _no_ _take-backs_.”

That would've set the whole thing off again if Natasha hadn't chimed in, “Mars, of course.”

That quieted everyone down as they pondered this answer.

“Why? _He's_ War Machine, not me.” Tony said, gesturing over towards Rhodey, who'd been working on some paperwork at a desk and pointedly ignoring their argument.

“Wait, what?” Clint asked, confused. “What's that got to do with anything?”

“Mars, named after the Roman god of _war_ , _War_ Machine. Am I seriously the only one here who knows mythology?”

“Oh, I just figured it was because Mars is red. That's kind of your whole look,” Clint waved his hand vaguely in the direction of one of Tony's Iron Man suits. “Besides, if you ever get stuck there you could Mark Watney yourself out.”

“ _Mark Watney_ myself out? Scientifically accurate or not, are we forgetting ‘I could fly like Iron Man’? Please. Mark Watney Tony Stark-ed himself off Mars.”

“Uh-uh. Nope. That's not why Tony should get Mars.” None of them had noticed Bruce enter the room but there he was, leaning against the doorway and holding a mug of coffee. He gestured towards the coffee station, where DUM-E was “cleaning” a spill the bot had almost definitely made himself. “I mean, isn’t it obvious? It’s so _you_ , a planet inhabited solely by bots. Bots that are alone, and half of them broken. Come on, Tony, don't act like you don't want to go adopt every rover up there.”

“He’s right, you did cry when _Spirit_ went dark, Tones,” Rhodey supplied, helpfully.

The conversation continued on for a bit after that, but it might as well have been playing on mute for all that Tony was paying attention to it.

(“Alright, he's Mars, I'm Pluto. Now what? Do we do the rest of you guys too?”

“Don't tempt him, I'm pretty sure the rest of Clint's plan was just ‘make Uranus jokes.’”

“I mean, it wasn't _not_ that...And hey, I was going to work in a gas giant joke for Jupiter too, I do have other material!”)

Tony tapped his fingers against his arc reactor rhythmically, deep in thought. Now there was an idea, he didn't know how he hadn't thought of it before. Too much stuff in his head, too many projects and plans constantly in motion, that was the problem. Sometimes obvious things slipped through. The Mars rovers just needed a helping hand, really, a friend to brush off the dust so they could see the stars again. He could save them, bring _Sojourner_ and _Spirit_ back to life, keep an eye out for _Opportunity_ and _Curiosity_.

He snapped out of his reverie and called out across the room, “C’mon Rhodey, Brucie-bear! Let's go build a robot.”

As the three of them headed down the stairs towards the lab, Rhodey gestured back towards Steve, now safely out of earshot. “You think he's ever gonna figure out you do all of this Pluto stuff just to mess with him? You literally tried to bribe the IAU to reverse their decision when they demoted Pluto even though you know _perfectly well_ they were right to do it. ‘Science reigns again,’ ha! You're just as much of a softie as he is for that _dwarf_ planet.”

“Oh Rhodey, Rhodey, Rhodey. What the good Captain doesn't know, greatly amuses me. Trust me, it's much more fun this way, did you see his face?” Tony giggled. “So anyway, we can modify the arc reactor to act as a power source…”

* * *

_Several years later..._

_A little robot with a glowing blue heart was waiting in standby mode when it picked up a message transmitted from one of the few other inhabitants of the red planet back to the blue one they had both come from -_

_“my battery is low and it's getting dark”_

_The little robot whirred to life, circuits glowing, intricate gears tumbling into place as it set off on its mission._

_“Don't worry,_ Opportunity _, I'm coming.”_


End file.
